{"id":573,"date":"2006-09-12T08:22:32","date_gmt":"2006-09-12T13:22:32","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.bothfavorites.com\/blog\/?p=573"},"modified":"2006-09-12T08:27:37","modified_gmt":"2006-09-12T13:27:37","slug":"there-are-three-of-this-guy-at-my-local-starbucks","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.bothfavorites.com\/blog\/2006\/09\/12\/there-are-three-of-this-guy-at-my-local-starbucks\/","title":{"rendered":"There are three of this guy at my local Starbucks"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>More from <a href=\"http:\/\/www.mcsweeneys.net\/\">McSweeney&#8217;s<\/a>:<\/p>\n<p><strong>Ten Things the Guy at Starbucks Is Thinking While Looking at the Brunette Barista Behind the Counter.<\/strong><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Look, I&#8217;m reading the business section. I have lots of money. Want sex?<\/li>\n<li>I am eating this scone with earnest sincerity. I am sincere. Want sex?<\/li>\n<li>I will swivel slightly in my chair to display my well-pressed slacks. Sex?<\/li>\n<li>I am drinking coffee and staring thoughtfully out the window. I can be deep. And long.<\/li>\n<li>I make a remark about the rain using the word &#8220;inclement.&#8221; I am intelligent. Do me.<\/li>\n<li>Someone else has said a winning joke about baseball. I laugh along with you. We share common interests.<\/li>\n<li>I say, &#8220;Do you have sugar, Sugar?&#8221; and smile. I have gleaming white teeth. So will our kids.<\/li>\n<li>I put my head in my hands. I am tormented and mysterious. Join me for sex?<\/li>\n<li>Someone says something about the latte you made. I give you a face. I empathize. You. Me. Sex?<\/li>\n<li>I am getting up to leave now saying, &#8220;I&#8217;ll be back tomorrow.&#8221; You crinkle your face. Ah! I&#8217;m making an impression!<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>More from McSweeney&#8217;s: Ten Things the Guy at Starbucks Is Thinking While Looking at the Brunette Barista Behind the Counter. Look, I&#8217;m reading the business section. I have lots of money. Want sex? I am eating this scone with earnest sincerity. I am sincere. Want sex? I will swivel slightly in my chair to display [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[8],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-573","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-funny"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bothfavorites.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/573","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bothfavorites.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bothfavorites.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bothfavorites.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bothfavorites.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=573"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.bothfavorites.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/573\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bothfavorites.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=573"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bothfavorites.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=573"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bothfavorites.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=573"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}