This open letter to the Kansas School Board takes it to task for teaching “Intelligent Design” (Biblical Creationism tarted up in scientific dress) in schools. The author points out that there are several competing theories that Kansas could teach its students, including the popular thesis that the universe was created by a “Flying Spaghetti Monster.” There are pictures, too.

From it:

I’m sure you now realize how important it is that your students are taught this alternate theory. It is absolutely imperative that they realize that observable evidence is at the discretion of a Flying Spaghetti Monster. Furthermore, it is disrespectful to teach our beliefs without wearing His chosen outfit, which of course is full pirate regalia. I cannot stress the importance of this, and unfortunately cannot describe in detail why this must be done as I fear this letter is already becoming to long. The concise explanation is that He becomes angry if we don’t.

First word: Sounds like “snoring”

CNN has a blurb on the new series Celebrity Charades. We caught a few minutes of it last night. Utter tripe. The only enjoyment we got out of it was from the opportunity to make fun of how poorly Robert Klein and Steve Guttenberg have aged. Oh and to give you good idea of the level of celebrity, one of the actors is best known for playing alongside Guttenberg as the Indian engineer in Short Circuit. I think we saw him at a wedding a few years ago.

I stumbled upon this (see how below). It’s a site promoting a book called Created to be His Help Meet, and it’s a manual for women on how to be obedient wives. The author categorizes men and based on that categorization, she explains the manner in which the wife should obey her husband. Here’s an excerpt from the “Command Man” chapter:

They are known for expecting their wives to wait on them hand and foot. A Command Man does not want his wife involved in any project that prevents her from serving him. If you are blessed to be married to a strong, forceful, bossy man, as I am, then it is very important for you learn how to make an appeal without challenging his authority. We will discuss how to make an appeal later in this book.

…A woman married to a Command Man has to earn her place in his heart by proving that she will stand by her man, faithful, loyal, and obedient. When she has won his confidence, he will treasure her to the extreme.

OK, good luck to you.

I don’t need to point out how asinine all of this is. What I want to is what the fuck is a “Help Meet?”

Photron is a company that makes high-speed movie cameras. They have a flash gallery of some of the movies taken by their cameras. They might take a while to load even though the filesize is small, but some are very cool. Check out the golf ball and especially the water balloon movies.

Yeah, in the future everyone will be schlepping one of these around. Still, it looks like fun. Is that a beer keg? Check out the movie.

It was found on oooms (check their “products” page), which is a Dutch design group that makes weird shit. For instance, hats made out of human hair, which would be a good gift only for Leatherface.

From last week’s Onion:

Enchanted By Own Innocence,
Michael Jackson Molests Self

Not long ago we were in a great southeast Asian restaurant in Manhattan called the Spice Market. The meal was fantastic. The dessert menus arrived and there was something on it that looked interesting… durian ice cream. Durian is a southeast Asian fruit that has been said to have a “distinct” smell. I hadn’t had durian before, and I like trying new foods, so I ordered it.

The waitress asked me if I had had durian before, and I said no. In the most polite way she could manage, she urged me to consider any other dessert on the menu. She continued by saying that it’s only recommended for people who have tried it before, and that that people should try durian for the first time elsewhere. Unmoved, I ordered it.

It arrived in a chinese takeout box, the reason for which I quickly discovered was to prevent nausea among the other patrons. Now you really have to try hard to smell ice cream, but not this stuff. I’ve eaten things that smell bad and taste good, so I took a bite.
Now those who know me well (or strangers who see me) know that there aren’t many foods I don’t like. But one bite of this and I almost wretched. It was the most vile substance ever served. I shit you not, it smelled like a volcanic sulfur vent, and tasted like what I imagine untreated sewage would taste like.

Today I looked the fruit up on Wikipedia and here’s what I found:

Due to the fruit’s strong odour, it is forbidden to bring durians as hand luggage onto aircraft belonging to some airlines, to carry them on the Singapore public transit system, or to store or eat them in many hotels.

Some Westerners have described the experience of eating the durian as “like eating custard in a public lavatory”

Too true.

The Guardian has an article about an anti-hatred bill floating around the British Parliament.

The controversial bill against incitement to religious hatred would protect Satanists, pagans and atheists as well as followers of more mainstream religions, the Home Office said today.

Home Office minister Paul Goggins said the legislation, published today, would protect people against being victimised for “any religious belief or lack of belief”.

A conservative countered:

“Religion, unlike race, is a matter of personal choice and therefore appropriate for open debate,” he said. “Aggravated crimes against religious groups are already protected under existing law while this new law would technically prevent what many people may regard as reasonable criticism of devil worshippers and religious cults.”

“…as well as mainstream religions,” I would add. Comedian Rowan Atkinson warned that it would leave comedians open to prosecution for satirising religious beliefs. I have to agree with the conservatives (and Mr. Bean) on this one. This would have a chilling effect on free speech.