Jail or Jesus, your choice

May 31, 2005 @ 10:35 pm · Posted by Crabby · Filed under Church/State Separation, Idiotic

An article on CNN.com describes a judge in Kentucky who is offering “alternative sentencing,” to repeat drug and alcohol offenders: church. Apparently “worship services” are a good substitute for addictive, mind-numbing substances.

8 Comments

  1. Boxen Said,

    June 1, 2005 @ 8:24 am

    That’s inane. Check the judges quote:

    I don’t think there’s a church-state issue, because it’s not mandatory and I say worship services instead of church.

    Guy’s a dickhole.

    1. By making it an option, the state would be endorsing the notion that “worship services” and jail have the same rehabilitative and punitive effectiveness.
    2. He says worship services instead of church. Like that keeps the wall intact? It’s still theistic. And you know they wouldn’t allow alternative beliefs like animism, satanism, paganism, wicca, etc. And what about those convicts that worship tits and buffalo wings? Do they get to repent at Hooters?

    I’d love to hear this guy’s opinion on sodomy laws. “I say ‘population rebalancing’ instead of ‘kill all the gays’“. Was that too hyperbolic?

  2. Electro Rock Said,

    June 1, 2005 @ 1:28 pm

    I usually say doof instead of dickhole. That makes it ok to say while in court.

  3. bluegrass girl Said,

    June 1, 2005 @ 2:29 pm

    There was a case in Wisconsin (I can’t remember the crime), where the defendent was given the option of jail time or giving up his season tickets to the Packers. Creative sentencning abounds.

    If they really wanted to punish people, they’d make sure the church was Catholic. No decent music, dim lighting, stinky incense, constant kneeling and standing, and a pathetic roof-of-the-mouth-clogging host as a treat.

  4. Electro Rock Said,

    June 1, 2005 @ 3:30 pm

    Mmm…Nothing beats Jeez-Its for breakfast. (Ok, I stole that from Dane Cook.)

  5. Boxen Said,

    June 1, 2005 @ 3:45 pm

    Christ is delicious if not dry.

  6. Electro Rock Said,

    June 1, 2005 @ 5:10 pm

    Oddly enough, his blood is less than dry. More like a Pinot Blanc…gosh, that was trendy.

  7. Electro Rock Said,

    June 1, 2005 @ 5:13 pm

    Oops…meant a Pinot Noir…I keep mixing up my varietals.

  8. bluegrass girl Said,

    June 1, 2005 @ 5:58 pm

    Yeah, drinking it out of the same cup as every other cretin at your church (many of whom likely engage in questionable oral hygeine practices) really enhances the bouquet.

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