How postmodern.

• Peter Jackson
• Naomi Watts
• Jack Black
• Adrien Brody
• Gollum

Go watch the trailer.

In other words, The Fresh Prince’s new album is tanking, and he needs an out. Read this, ya’ll.

I guess parents really don’t understand – he is living the lyric.

No, it’s not the jarred squeegeeings of a highly productive single-handed typing session. That would be “monitor pudding”. This is a super-reflective acrylic paint that you apply to a wall to use as a projection screen. Here’s a site that hawks it for $200 for one screen’s worth. Versus how much for a roll-up screen? Or a bedsheet?

In 2002 John Ashcroft felt that the partially nude statues in the Great Hall of the Justice Department were just too prurient for him (and therefore, the rest of the country) to take, so he had them draped in cloth. A few days ago, Alberto Gonzales ordered the drapes removed. I bet Ashcroft is bracing himself for the imminent deluge of uncontrollable statue-fuckings.

Finding that people eventually become immune to their own alarm clocks, this guy invented clock that wakes you with the smell of sizzling bacon. Hallelujah!

A Russian aerospace design firm has a new idea for escaping a burning building. From the Economist article:

The idea is to create a cheap, inflatable structure that can be compressed into a backpack, like a parachute. The pod is designed with an inflatable tube around its edges, which should cause it to bounce off the walls of a building. And the final version will be made from some, as yet unspecified, fire-retardant material. As a bonus, and unlike a parachute, it will operate safely from altitudes of five metres and above—which would make it suitable even for the top floors of houses.
In an emergency, someone wishing to leave in a hurry would strap on the backpack and jump, pulling a ring as he did so. The pod would inflate, surround him instantly and bear him gently to the ground.

Future news story:
Man’s goes on fire alarm pulling binge around the city.
Man: “I’ve always wanted to live in a world where it would rain 30-foot bouncing boobs.”

I don’t know if this can be interpreted as evidence for intelligence design, but it’s definitely fodder for the notion that random processes can accidentally create something beautiful.
This tree is halfway between my apartment and work, and driving past it is the best part of my day, except on those days when I fear it has a better ass than I do.

Junk in the trunk, indeed.