… and it seems dumb to begin with.

Here’s a device that you mount to the underside of your toilet seat lid. It detects movement then shines a green light if the seat is down, or a red light with a target if it’s up. Based on reading just the top part of the image, my initial thought would be like an retina scan for your “wedding tackle” (got that last bit here).

Saw this in the print version of The Onion. One of the best demented bits they’ve printed in a long time.

Nothing says “life is sacred” like a convoy of semis rollin’ down the highway, plastered with ginormous graphic photos of aborted fetuses. Yee-haw, praise Him.

From the AP article:

BERLIN – Germans were ordered Thursday to stay serious when having their photographs taken for new passports, wiping away any grins, smirks or smiles so that biometric scanners can pick up their facial features.
Interior Minister Otto Schily ordered passport authorities to only accept pictures taken from the front showing the “most neutral facial expression possible,” starting Nov. 1.

It’s been discovered that a certain species of louse seeks out a fish, eats the fish’s tongue, then becomes the tongue.

What did you think the picture was?

Gillette unveiled their 5-blade razor; a move predicted by The Onion in an early 2004 article titled, “Fuck Everything, We’re Doing Five Blades”

Disney has started to sell Old Yeller Dog Food. That’s fucking demented. Who could possibly want to buy a dog food based on a movie in which the title dog suffers rabies and is killed by its owner?

This site has a dizzying array of slang terms for body parts. Many British. Mostly breasts. Some good ones:

• Car Waxers
• Umlauts
• Stun Grenades
• The Resume

Bonus: for labia…

• Badly Packed Kebab