• Peter Jackson
• Naomi Watts
• Jack Black
• Adrien Brody
• Gollum

Go watch the trailer.

In other words, The Fresh Prince’s new album is tanking, and he needs an out. Read this, ya’ll.

I guess parents really don’t understand – he is living the lyric.

No, it’s not the jarred squeegeeings of a highly productive single-handed typing session. That would be “monitor pudding”. This is a super-reflective acrylic paint that you apply to a wall to use as a projection screen. Here’s a site that hawks it for $200 for one screen’s worth. Versus how much for a roll-up screen? Or a bedsheet?

In 2002 John Ashcroft felt that the partially nude statues in the Great Hall of the Justice Department were just too prurient for him (and therefore, the rest of the country) to take, so he had them draped in cloth. A few days ago, Alberto Gonzales ordered the drapes removed. I bet Ashcroft is bracing himself for the imminent deluge of uncontrollable statue-fuckings.

Finding that people eventually become immune to their own alarm clocks, this guy invented clock that wakes you with the smell of sizzling bacon. Hallelujah!

A Russian aerospace design firm has a new idea for escaping a burning building. From the Economist article:

The idea is to create a cheap, inflatable structure that can be compressed into a backpack, like a parachute. The pod is designed with an inflatable tube around its edges, which should cause it to bounce off the walls of a building. And the final version will be made from some, as yet unspecified, fire-retardant material. As a bonus, and unlike a parachute, it will operate safely from altitudes of five metres and above—which would make it suitable even for the top floors of houses.
In an emergency, someone wishing to leave in a hurry would strap on the backpack and jump, pulling a ring as he did so. The pod would inflate, surround him instantly and bear him gently to the ground.

Future news story:
Man’s goes on fire alarm pulling binge around the city.
Man: “I’ve always wanted to live in a world where it would rain 30-foot bouncing boobs.”

I don’t know if this can be interpreted as evidence for intelligence design, but it’s definitely fodder for the notion that random processes can accidentally create something beautiful.
This tree is halfway between my apartment and work, and driving past it is the best part of my day, except on those days when I fear it has a better ass than I do.

Junk in the trunk, indeed.

If you’ve ever seen A Mighty Wind you’ll rememeber a scene where a married couple of has-been folk singers talk to the interviewer about their spiritual beliefs. This should help refresh:

Terry and I worship an unconventional deity. The power of another dimension. Now you are not going to read about this dimension in a book or a magazine because it exists nowhere… but in my own mind. Through our ceremonies and rituals we have witnessed the awesome and vibratory power… of color.
We are Winc. W-I-N-C. Witches In Nature’s Colors.
This is not an occult science. This is not one of those crazy systems of divination and astrology. That stuff’s hooey, and you’ve got to have a screw loose to go in for that sort of thing. Our beliefs are fairly commonplace and simple to understand. Humankind is simply materialized color operating on the 49th vibration. You would make that conclusion walking down the street or going to the store.

It’s one of my favorite scenes if for nothing else, the look on the husband’s face of deferential resignation to his headstrong and deranged wife. Anyway, I thought they made up the religion for the movie, but there are actually people that claim to subscribe to it.
This site is awesome. It’s these two crazies that have a New Age business that sells books, does readings, consultations. Here’s a bit about colorology:

There are a number of simple, inexpensive and effective ways to intentionally employ color:

Visualization — Simply imagine a ray of light of the desired color penetrating and bathing the dis-eased area. Researchers have found that thoughts have a tangible effect on the physical body, measurable by EEG machines and other methods.

Solarized water — Place a clear, glass bottle filled with distilled or purified water and covered with colored cellophane in direct morning sunlight for approximately two hours (a transparent colored glass bottle may also be used). The vibratory frequency of the water will change to that of the color through which the sunlight is filtered. The water can then be consumed internally (sip gradually throughout the day — don’t gulp it down!) or used as a compress. Do not allow the bottle to come in contact with metal (use a corked bottle), and do not refrigerate it.

No, definitely don’t refrigerate it.
If you have time, explore the site. There’s lots of great stuff including: sweet illustrations, and therapy for children who have had contact with aliens.